If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My dick has a subreddit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
