i already hear my dad disowning me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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