Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my liver is dry heaving
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
