Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
