I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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