he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
