I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize