Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
