Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My ass is underappreciated
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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