i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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