There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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