This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I deserve to be covered in dicks
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
