there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
