just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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