seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
