"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
