Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
