guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
