The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
