maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
