Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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