As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
