using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
