I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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