i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
