Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
