someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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