Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
