no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
