Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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