i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
