i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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