She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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