We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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