Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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