get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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