bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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