She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
