i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
