Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
