I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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