found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
