I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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