how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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