I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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