Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
