Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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