There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my being single is dangerous.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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