apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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