The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
