What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
