We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
